Stronger Marriage Connection

It's often said that marriage takes work. The Stronger Marriage Connection podcast wants to help because a happy marriage is worth the effort. USU Family Life Professor Dr. Dave Schramm and Clinical Psychologist Dr. Liz Hale talk with experts about the principles and practices that will enhance your commitment, compassion, and emotional connection. 

More than ever before, marriages face obstacles, from the busyness of work and daily hassles to disagreements and digital distractions. It's no wonder couples sometimes drift apart, growing resentful, lonely, and isolated.

The Utah Marriage Commission invites you to listen and discover new ways to strengthen and protect your marriage connection today!

Episodes

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    April 22, 2024

    Gottman's 7 Day Love Prescription | Dr. Dave Schramm & Dr. Liz Hale | #82

    Today Dave Schramm and Liz Hale explore the profound insights of doctors John and Julie Gottman's latest book, "The Seven Day Love Prescription". They delve into practical advice taken from extensive research on thousands of couples, focusing on strengthening relationships through simple actions and deeper understanding. They discuss the significance of turning towards your partner, the power of touch, the importance of asking open-ended questions, and the brain's tendency to focus on negativity. This episode provides valuable tips for fostering a deeper connection and revitalizing your marriage by incorporating daily habits that enhance love and affection.

    Insights:

    • Dave: Slowing down and understanding your partner’s world takes humility. I love the word compassion, as we've talked about humility. And let me add gratitude; expressions of appreciation for the little things of being thoughtful. Kindness and gratitude is two sides of the same coin. When someone is kind, hopefully the other person is grateful. And they recognize that and understand each other's worlds. It’s hard to settle on one thing, but kindness could change a marriage. Slow down and be a little more kind, little more gentle, a little more thoughtful.
    • Liz: You know, what I have loved is how we've talked about how healthy "we" consists of healthy "me" and I'm really the only person in the relationship that can really guarantee how I show up right? I am only in control of me. So I think when I show up paramount with kindness, I think that is the key.

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    April 15, 2024

    Jason Carroll | The Soulmate Myth | #81

    In this eye-opening episode, hosts Dave Schramm and Liz Hale talk with Dr. Jason Carroll to debunk the soulmate myth. They explore the impact of soulmate thinking on relationships and discuss how lasting connections are forged through intentional effort and growth. Drawing on the report "The Soulmate Trap," the conversation highlights the importance of virtues, responsible behaviors, and shared life goals over predestined destiny beliefs.

    About Jason Carroll

    Jason S. Carroll is an internationally recognized expert on flourishing marriages and readiness
    for marriage among young adults. He currently serves as the Director of the Family Initiative at
    the Wheatley Institute at Brigham Young University, and he is also a Senior Fellow of the
    Institute for Family Studies. He has also been a faculty member in BYU’s School of Family for the last 23 years. In 2014, Dr. Carroll received the Berscheid-Hatfield Award for Distinguished Mid-Career Achievement, a biennial award given for distinguished scientific achievement by the International Association for Relationship Research (IARR). This award was given to him
    primarily to acknowledge his significant theoretical contributions to the field of marriage
    studies. Dr. Carroll is best known professionally for his development of the “Developmental
    Model of Marital Competence,” the widely used “Marital Horizon Theory” of young adult
    readiness for marriage, and “Sexual Restraint Theory” which has been used to demonstrate the
    benefits to couples who wait until they are married to begin their sexual relationship. Most
    recently, Dr. Carroll has received recognition for his new “STRIVE-4 Model of Virtue” that
    provides a comprehensive model to organize and guide a mature science of virtue.

    Insights

    • Jason, "We need to actively mentor the younger generation within our spheres of influence, like in family and in work spaces. Think about how we can collectively restore the confidence and the sense of agency and choice. By sharing the realities of a genuine relationship—its challenges and its rewards—we can help restore the younger generation's confidence in and aspiration for enduring, loving marriage."
    • Dave, "Mature love in healthy relationships is characterized by outward focus and contribution, whereas immature love fixates inwardly on personal needs and disappointments. With mature love and immature love, there is always a choice."
    • Liz, "The focus is not so much on happiness, but on meaningfulness. All parts of our relationships, the highs and the lows, that’s why we're here. That's what gives us meaning. And I love the idea of the growth belief versus the destiny belief."

    Jason's Links

    https://wheatley.byu.edu/

    Beyond the Myth of Marital Happiness by Blaine J. Fowers

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    April 1, 2024

    Marriage and Raising Children with Autism | Sage Allen | #79

    Today Sage Allen discusses the stresses and challenges she's encountered with her son who has severe autism and how this affects her marriage. Sage opens up about the raw realities of day-to-day care, and how important it is to make time for both self-care and date nights. Sage shares tips for other parents who find themselves overwhelmed and exhausted, including intentionally finding the good in each day and reaching out for support systems, including online groups.

    About Sage Allen
    Sage Erickson Allen has a master's degree in marriage family human development from BYU. ,
    She taught marriage preparation at BYU and marriage enrichment classes for USU Extension in
    St. George, UT for a few years. She stopped teaching when her first child was diagnosed with
    severe autism around age two. That child is seven years old now and is completely nonverbal
    with low functioning autism and ADHD. In her spare time, Sage likes ballroom dancing and
    writing for her casual blog, sagerelationshipadvice.com. She also enjoys advocating for people
    with disabilities and families that need more help managing the stresses that accompany raising a child with a disability.

    Insights:

    • Sage: "I'd like to tell everyone that you really can have a great fulfilling marriage with a disabled child. At feels impossible. And it kind of feels like you'll never be happy again when you have that big of a trial, but then it really does get better. And you can have a great marriage and a great life.
    • Dave: "An internal insight is, I can't be, my feelings. I'm going to feel things but I've got to learn to feel it but not follow it, if that makes sense. And not let it spill over and into my parenting or into my marriage or, or how I see the situation or complain about this or that in my life because it can always be poisonous, right? And how that that spills over."
    • Liz: "I was pretty naive; I still am with autism. Thank you for the reminder of the three stages and that Utah has a way to go. That saddens me and it also gives me great hope with advocates like you and people who are willing to speak out and speak up for their loved ones or children. With that, I hope things do continue to grow and change."

    Sage Allen Links:

    https://sagerelationshipadvice.com

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    March 25, 2024

    Making Your Marriage Work | Mark & Jill Savage | #78

    This episode highlights Mark and Jill Savage, a couple who have worked through some very difficult challenges in their marriage, including infidelity. They have been married nearly 40 years now. Together they share why they decided to make things work rather than divorce and open up about how they've been able to make their marriage stronger. Whether you've experienced infidelity or you're just going through some rough patches, you'll benefit from the many insights from our discussion.

    About Mark & Jill Savage:

    Mark and Jill Savage are passionate about encouraging, educating, and equipping families and marriages. After serving in church ministry for twenty years, the Savage’s are now meeting the needs of families as authors, speakers, and coaches. Known for their honesty, humor, and
    practical teaching, Mark and Jill bring hope and encouragement to every audience.

    Jill is the host of the No More Perfect Podcast and the author of fourteen books, including the
    bestselling No More Perfect Moms. Together Mark and Jill have created five online marriage
    courses and authored several books including No More Perfect Marriages, I Really Messed Up,
    and My Heart Is Broken. The parents of five adult children, and grandparents of six, the
    Savage’s make their home in Normal, IL.

     

    Insights:

    • Mark - Mine is on of a faith response. Its to humble yourself. Grab hold of the hand of Daddy God, and let Him lead you through the mess.
    • Jill - There is hope and, and redemption available. Whether a marriage makes it or not, there's hope and redemption available. And so I think that it's, you know, that's kind of where I sat, you know, whether my marriage makes it or not, I have some growth to do.
    • Dave - Having humility, compassion, positivity; fundamental values for relationships, and I can't echo that enough. And that no matter where you are in your relationship, that we're going to hit these rough patches, some more serious than others. I feel like if we would forget the person that we thought we married and get to work on the relationship with the person that we did marry and focus we’d find enjoyment and remind ourselves, the principal that we remember what we rehearse, we remember what we review. And if we're reviewing the negative, and the mess and the yuckiness that we don't like, then that's what we will remember. But if we can flip the script that you talked about, refocus, change that heart, and search inward and turn outward.
    • Liz - Let work to flip the script, to crucify the negative and celebrate the positive. Because whatever I do focus on grows, and I'll find the evidence of whatever I believe I'll find it.

    Mark & Jill Link:

    https://www.jillsavage.org/

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    March 18, 2024

    Prioritizing Fun in Your Marriage | Amberly Lambertsen | #77

    Dave and Liz talk with Amberly Lambertsen about the importance of prioritizing fun in your relationship. From laughing at the little things and making time for fun date nights to sharing silly memes to planning and talking about your next fun getaway. Couples who laugh and play together are more likely to stay together.

    About Amberly Lambertsen:
    Amberly Lambertsen is a Certified Family Life Educator. She received her Bachelor’s degree in Family Studies and her Master's of Education with an emphasis in Family Life Education. Amberly has a specific passion for marriage relationships and helping couples make their marriage a priority throughout every stage of life. She believes that by making time for the personal and romantic side of your marriage every day you are creating a strong foundation for the other pieces of your partnership to thrive and your relationship to last a lifetime. In addition to creating a long lasting marriage, Amberly believes couples should create a relationship they enjoy and want to continue to be part of. With creative date night solutions, tips for increased emotional and physical intimacy, ideas for creating more fun, and practical ways couples can focus on their marriage, Amberly helps couples make time to build and enjoy their marriage relationship every single day throughout every stage of life.

    Insights:

    • Amberly: "Just find one thing you can do today to have fun together. What's one thing you can do this week, or you can do today to have fun together, and then do it again tomorrow and find something new or find something old, whatever that is just take an opportunity to have fun.
    • Dave: "Make your relationship a priority. If you don't, then you naturally have this natural flow to isolation that you naturally will drift apart. So, couples who are intentionally creating the fun, whether it's spontaneous or let's plan something, those are the couples who I think will thrive rather than just trying to survive in their in their marriages and their relationships."
    • Liz: "There’s no one I'd rather laugh with than my husband. I love laughing with him. He is one of my favorite people to laugh with. And I really want it to continue to be that safe harbor for him."

    Amberly Lambertsen Links:
    https://aprioritizedmarriage.com
    https://facebook.com/aprioritizedmarriage
    https://instagram.com/aprioritizedmarriage
    https://tiktok.com/@aprioritizedmarriage
    Podcast: Prioritize Your Marriage - https://open.spotify.com/show/5P5lHa1PjhLinOCwIIZaCk

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    March 11, 2024

    How To Get What You Want In Your Relationship | Monica Tanner | #76

    Monica Tanner joins Liz and Dave to talk about getting what you want in your relationship. She’ll tackle how to manage strong emotions, moving from complaints to requests, and the importance of compassionate curiosity. She will also share a four-step framework for getting what you want in your relationship. Her mission is to lower the divorce rate and improve marital satisfaction through her engaging podcast vibrant social media, community, and practical programs.

    About Monica Tanner:
    Monica Tanner, Relationship Coach and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast,
    transforms marriages with simple communication, connection, conflict resolution and
    commitment strategies. Her mission is to lower the divorce rate and improve marital
    satisfaction. Through her engaging podcast, vibrant social media community, and practical
    programs, Monica's expert guidance has impacted thousands of couples, by helping them ditch resentment and roommate syndrome and get back to living their happily ever after love story.

    Insights:

    • Monica: "You know, there's a lot of things that you can't control in this life, but you can always control your experience inside of your circumstances. I find it to be a law of connection kind of like, matter is governed by the laws of gravity, you don't have to know that if I throw this pen up in the air, it's gonna come down. But if I do know it, it makes life a lot more predictable, it's easier to know what's going to happen, right. And so if you understand that you have full control over the experience you're having in any given circumstance, you become way more powerful, empowered, probably as the right word, you become way more empowered, to fight for the things that you want in this life, when you understand that you may not be able to, to control all the circumstances, but you can control your experience."
    • Dave: "I love the idea of this compassionate curiosity. I've never heard it quite put like, but getting compassionately curious about that, not in a you know, I'm holier than thou and I'm not going to jump into this because I'm not that type of a person, but genuinely compassionate, getting curious, really wanting to understand them and to hear that to hear what they need. Rather than reacting to their emotions you have very powerful."
    • Liz: "I think that is so interesting the idea of asking for what we want or what we need, it's really quite a compliment to our partner that I want to have. I want us to have it all right, I don't want to settle for me mediocrity. I really want to climb for that and reach for that top echelon of happy marriage."

    Monica Tanner Links:

    https://www.monicatanner.com/
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/monitanner1/
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/secretsofhappilyeverafter
    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@secretsofhappilyeverafter

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    March 4, 2024

    Simple Ways To Improve Your Marriage | Jeff Forte | #75

    Today, Jeff Forte joins us to chat about everything from parenting and relationship stress to 10 second hugs and intentionally making the most of every interaction with your spouse or partner. Jeff Forte is a relationship expert and author of the books, the 90 Minute marriage miracle and be happy forever. Jeff has experienced both a divorce and the death of his second wife.

    About Jeff Forte:
    Jeff Forte, is an Executive Peak Performance Coach, Leadership Expert, Author, and Speaker. He writes about the areas of his life that he's had to improve by overcoming adversity. His ability to relate to the reader comes from his genuine desire to give the reader immediately useful tools, skills, and strategies that they can put to work right away. The ideas you'll read about in his books contain powerful secrets that begin to shift the odds of success quickly in your favor. His work is highly proprietary in nature. He's the creator of The Magenta System for personal transformation, The Magenta Process for emotional wellness, The Rising Love Marriage Repair Process for fixing marriage and divorce prevention, and The Leadership Alliance for creating a transnational shift in global leadership. His clients include Fortune 500 Executives, Professional Athletes, High Tech Visionaries, Emmy Award Winners, Global Leaders, Business Professionals, Couples and Teams.

    Insights:

    • Jeff: I hope listeners remember that every interaction with each other is a chance for a fresh start. It’s a chance to improve things between you as a chance to deepen connection is a chance to reconnect to resolve conflicts a chance to apologize every single interaction can be utilized to improve your relations.
    • Dave: What does my partner need from me right now. Right now, in this moment, what can I do to relieve stress from their life?
    • Liz: The whole idea about distractions affecting attractions. Even Jeff, as you were so kind to talk about, you know, after the passing of your wife and then trying to date again, and how that distraction was really kind of hurtful to your son. And I, I wish more parents would pause and understand that who are either divorce or were also widows widowers to understand that, well, maybe there is a time and a place and the most important thing right now is the well being of that child.

    Invites:

    • Take notice of how you can help reduce some of your partner’s stress; like doing the
      dishes, helping to cook dinner, picking up dinner….
    • Be mindful of all the little distractions in your daily life that could be a cause of less
      attraction; ie: your children seeing you on your phone may prevent them from coming
      up and talking about something they’d like to share with you.
    • It’s the simple things that help build a stronger marriage, try to do one simple thing
      today to show them that you care. Like write a note, make the bed, start the dishwasher…

    Jeff Forte Links:

    https://90minutemarriagemiracle.com/
    https://www.facebook.com/peakresultscoaching

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    February 26, 2024

    Dave Dollahite | Faith & Marriage | #74

    Today Dr. David Dollahite joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss the connection between faith and marriage.

    About David Dollahite:
    Dr. David Dollahite, is a professor of family life at Brigham Young University. He received an MS and MFT and as a family life coach. He is co director of the American families of faith project. He has more than 200 publications for scholarly and public audiences. He has written or edited nine books on Family Life and Religion, including Home Centered Gospel learning and Living Strengths and Diverse Families of Faith, Religion and Families, and Successful Marriages and Families among other books. He and his wife Mary had been married for 40 years and have seven children and four grandchildren.

    Insights:

    • “Personal religious choices, beliefs, values, commitments, obviously impact individuals but they also strongly impact other people; siblings, parents, couples, kids or spouses, kids." -Dave Dollahite
    • "I think when each person in a marriage is humble about their own perspectives, their own attitudes, their own ideas about what should happen in a marriage, I think humility is sort of that, that core virtue that allows people to see good, see truth, see meaning and value in the other person." -Dave Dollahite

    Invites:

    • Learn more about how shared religion can bring you closer to your partner.
    • Find time to chat with your partner about both humility and commitment in your relationship.

    David’s Resources:
    Website: americanfamiliesoffaith.byu.edu
    YouTube: American Families of Faith
    Podcast: American Families of Faith Project

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    February 19, 2024

    Jeff & Tammy Hill | Tips for Remarriage and Stepfamilies | #73

    Today Jeff and Tammy join Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss helpful tips for
    blended or “stewed” families.

    About Jeff and Tammy Hill:
    Jeff and Tammy Hill have been enjoying the ups and downs of remarriage and stepfamily living for 17 years. Together, they have 12 children and both recently retired from teaching at
    Brigham Young University. They both continue to stay busy. Jeff helps with money workshops,
    and Tammy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and conducts love retreats, honeymoon workshops and dating boot camps. Most importantly, the hills love being parents, step parents and grandparents.

    Insights:

    • “I think the fundamental principle is to honor the previous family, honor the original family honor to recognize that nobody wished that that didn't work out with that original family.”-Jeff Hill
    • “If you really are grounded and know who you are, and are living aligned with who you want to be, you're gonna be a great marriage partner.” -Tammy Hill
    • “Having a step family isn't something that happens overnight. It doesn't even happen within a year or two. A lot of the research says it takes between four and seven years until a step family, big blended family or our small blended family but anyway that this type of a family actually gets cohesive.” - Tammy Hill

    Invites:

    • Chat with your partner about ways that you have moments to slip away from your family or home to just focus on your relationship.
    • Listen to Tammy’s podcast “Live your Why” on spotify or apple podcasts

    Jeff and Tammy’s Resources
    Website: tammyhill.com
    Instagram: @tammy_hill_lmft
    Podcast: Live Your Why

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    February 12, 2024

    Alan Hawkins | The Truth About Open Relationships | #72

    Today Utah Marriage Commission Manager, Alan Hawkins joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss the challenges of an open relationship.

    About Alan Hawkins:
    Alan Hawkins is the manager of the Utah Marriage Commission. He recently retired after 33
    years as a professor at Brigham Young University. He earned a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies at Pennsylvania State University in 1990. Professor Hawkins scholarship and
    outreach efforts focused on educational interventions and policies to help couples form and
    sustain healthy marriages and relationships and to help fathers be engaged in the lives of their children. Since 2000, he has been intricately involved in state and federal policy efforts to
    support relationship education programs for disadvantaged families. He has served on the Utah marriage commission since 2004. And as a past chair of the Utah marriage commission. He currently serves as vice chair on the board for the National Association for Relationship and Marriage Education.

    Insights:

    • “ I believe marriage is a relationship that asks you to give your all to each other mentally,
      emotionally, sexually, give your all to another person. I think that kind of depth in a relationship leads to a richness and a beauty and a power that you can't achieve by dividing your heart.” - Alan Hawkins
    • “Go deeper with one person instead of broader with others.” - Dave Schramm
    • “The deeper you get, the more you understand, which then means the more you love.” - Alan Hawkins

    Invites:
    -“Go Deeper” with your partner by downloading the Gottman Card Deck app.
    -Learn about ways that you can create a stronger marriage connection by attending the
    webinars held by the Utah Marriage Commission.

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    February 5, 2024

    Gray Divorce | Lori Schade | #71

    Lori joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss the common issues that
    result in a mid-life or “gray” divorce.

    About Lori Schade:
    Lori Schade is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AAMFT approved therapy
    supervisor running a therapy practice in Pleasant Grove Utah called Compassionate
    Connections Counseling. She specializes in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and
    supervises therapists towards certification in the model. She has been an adjunct faculty
    member in the Marriage and Family Therapy Department at Brigham Young University as well
    as Utah Valley University. For over three decades she has practiced therapy alternately with
    raising seven children and has published several peer reviewed materials related to her
    profession. In her spare time she enjoys running, traveling, tandem bike riding with her
    husband, knitting and playing the organ. She is convinced the grandchildren are one of life's
    best kept secrets.

    Insights:

    • “There's always hope. I have a very easy time being hopeful for married couples, sometimes I have to say, ‘borrow my hope.’ I actually got that from Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen. And I think it's so lovely. And a lot of times small changes bring about really large changes in dynamics in marriage.” - Lori Schade
    • “There are two kinds of commitment. One is personal commitment, where you feel free to exercise where you want to put your loyalty. The term is kind of like restraint. It's actually called constraint commitment, and constraint commitment are all of those variables that keep people feeling stuck. It might be religious beliefs, it might be children in the home, it might be financial constraints, but there are those things where people might divorce but they stay there because they feel these barriers to divorce? And so sometimes at midlife, those are removed. And so I think it's quite possible that that's also why we might see a resurgence of divorce and at that time.” -Lori Schade

    Invites:

    • Find time in your week to have a connection check-in with your partner by asking these three questions. How connected are we from last time we checked? More or less or the same? What's been happening in our lives that may have impacted the level of connection? What is one small thing that would help me feel more connected?"
    • Reach out to a therapist to learn more about Emotionally Focused Therapy to see if it could potentially strengthen your relationship with your partner.

    Lori’s Links:

    Compassionate Connections Counseling Website
    Book mentioned by Lori: The Lost Love Chronicles: Reunions & Memories of First Love by Nancy Kalish

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    January 29, 2024

    Sex is for Women Too | Ariel Finlinson | #70

    Ariel joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss the complex dynamics of sex
    in a relationship and how women can feel empowered in their sexuality.

    Sign up for Ariel's FREE MASTERCLASS NOW THRU February 12, 2024: https://outlook.office.com/mail/safelink.html?url=https://ladiestalkinglove.com/masterclass&corid=6a8a53f5-c147-1b8a-d10f-5cc24b4e1cb5

    Starting February 5, 2024 earn a special $20 discount from using this link: https://ladies-talking-love.ck.page/products/womens-sexuality-course-registration?promo=DAVE

    About Ariel Finlinson:

    Ariel Finlayson is a women's sexuality educator and the host of the ladies talking love podcast.
    She recently earned her master's in Human Development and Family Studies at Utah State
    University. A native of northern Wisconsin, she can't get enough of forests or fresh squeaky
    cheese curds. Her online course from pressure to passion empowers women to live up to the
    joy and fulfillment they deserve in their relationships. She is currently living in Utah with her
    husband, Kyle, and their four young children.

    • Insights:
      “I think just recognizing number one, that it is a really important part of your relationship to foster. And then number two, that it isn't all of your relationship but with that connection and sex, you are going to be able to have a more thriving and flourishing and beautiful empowering relationship than you thought possible.” -Ariel Finlinson 22:38-22:57
    • “To ask ourselves as women "Where did I get my information?" Where did I get this belief that sex is for men, for instance, or that ‘good girls don't,’ right? Many of us have heard through them  years? Where did I get that information? And can I explore something different?” -Dr. Liz Hale 28:44-29:00

    Invites:

    • Download Ariel’s free resource, “10 Questions to ask your spouse about Sex”
    • Find a time to discuss with your partner the stereotypes that you believe are affecting your relationship.

    Ariel’s Links:
    Instagram: @ladies.talkinglove
    Website: https://www.ladiestalkinglove.com

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    January 22, 2024

    Struggling With Inadequacy | Natasha Dansie | #69

    Natasha joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about the struggles that
    women face with feelings of inadequacy and simple tips to overcoming these feelings.

    About Natasha Dansie:
    Natasha offers concrete tips and real life examples of everyday interactions that often lead to
    mothers thinking they aren't enough. Natasha Dansie is a certified family life educator. She has taught relationship education classes through Utah State University for the past 11 years,
    working with a variety of audiences from high school students and retreats for women to
    inmates in the maximum security unit and everything in between. She loves traveling, learning
    and snuggling. Natasha and her husband Jeff are raising their five children ages 7 to 19
    alongside a variety of farm animals in central Utah.

    Insights:

    • “It's hard to be grateful and resentful.” -Dr. Liz Hale
    • “Observe and then serve.” -Dr. Dave Schramm
    • “One of the actions that I've personally seen the power of in my own life is the intentional practice of gratitude. So when I feel my stuff, my brain starts slipping into this negative vortex that starts to get dark. And I just have to pause. And when I start practicing gratitude, it's like, I can reverse the effects of that.” -Natasha Dansie

    Invites:

    • Find a moment to pause after you have a feeling of inadequacy.
    • If someone shares the way that they are feeling, instead of stating why they shouldn’t be
      feeling that way, validate their feelings by saying something like, “that must be really
      difficult” or “I see how you could feel that way.”

    Natasha’s Links:
    Email: ariseworkshops@gmail.com
    Instagram: @natashadansie

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    January 15, 2024

    How To Conquer Addiction and Shame in Marriage | Tyler Patrick | #68

    Tyler joins Dr. Dave Schramm to talk about the challenges of addiction and shame in
    marriage and the skill set required to overcome addictions with a stronger marriage connection.

    About Tyler Patrick:

    Tyler is a Marriage and Family Therapist has dedicated his career to mastering and
    understanding of recovery from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. He has come to believe
    that the men and women who embrace and live the principles of recovery do far more than get
    their lives back. They become the best kinds of husbands and wives, fathers and mothers. He
    has been married for over 20 years to an incredible woman and as a father to four amazing
    daughters. His hobbies away from work include supporting his children's interests, fly fishing,
    backpacking, and training River, his German Shorthaired Pointer.

    Insights:

    "I'm going to pursue a life where I understand what's going on in my mind and my heart, and
    then choosing to live from that sort of centered, sort of gut place. And then that allows me to
    live my life on, you know, on life's terms, if I'm having a bad moment, I can trust that I have the tools to do that. I can trust that I'm human.” -Tyler Patrick

    “When you have two people who know who they are and can be vulnerable with one another,
    and they choose to be with one another. That's where the deepest levels of connection
    happen.” -Tyler Patrick

    “If you're sitting there listening to this feeling like it's hopeless or it's dark, it's not, your story is not finished. It's just begun and you're sitting on a goldmine if you're willing to do the work.” -Tyler Patrick

    Invites:

    • Check out the podcast of Brian and Tyler
    •  Sign up for a first free session with Tyler.
    • Talk with your partner about the importance of humility and honesty in your
      relationship.

    Tyler’s Links:

    Website: https://lovestrong.com
    Instagram: @the.wandering.therapist

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    January 8, 2024

    Sexual Mindfulness | Dr. Chelom Leavitt | #67

    On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dr. Chelom Leavitt, J.D., Ph.D., will explore with Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz how to intentionally slow your mind and body to build awareness and create better connection during sex.

    About Chelom Leavitt:

    Dr. Chelom Leavitt, J.D., Ph.D. teaches in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University. Dr. Leavitt received her Ph.D. from Penn State where she focused her research on how mindfulness is linked to sexual functioning and satisfaction. Dr. Leavitt’s findings have been published in top research journals and books. Her research has helped uncover what couples experience during sex, and what factors contribute to connection. Along with her work in Sexual Mindfulness, Dr. Leavitt hosts interventions that teach couples how to slow down and be more aware and create greater connection during sex. She regularly blogs for Psychology Today as well her website www.chelomleavitt.com, where she shares with readers the latest research on meaningful sex, slowing down to experience greater connection, and being more curious in romantic and sexual relationships. Dr. Chelom Leavitt is married to David Leavitt and they are the parents of nine children.

    Insights:

    • Chelom: Slow down, be gentle and be curious.
    • Dave: Media does not portray sex correctly, making time to breathe, slow down, and raise awareness will benefit your relationship in all ways.
    • Liz: Normalizing emotions in our life and bringing awareness can increase our sexual pleasure and lives.

    Invites: •

    • Practice the mindful embrace and heads together exercise Chelom discussed with your partner.
    • Start mindfulness exercises. The next time you have 2 minutes of breathing room, sit down, practice how it feels to just breathe and be. Implement this routine more and more into your schedule.
    • Notice what happens when you are physically connecting with your partner. A hug can tell you a lot about how your relationship looks and what you and your partner need.

    Chelom Leavitt Links:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexualmindfulnessproject/

    https://www.chelomleavitt.com/

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    January 1, 2024

    Overcoming Sexual Frustration | Tammy Hill | #66

    On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dave and Liz with Tammy
    Hill, educator, LMFT, ASSECT, and author discuss how to overcome rejection, desire difference,
    and stale sex. Explore new ways to replenish your partner and build beauty in your sexual
    connection.

    About Tammy Hill:

    Tammy Hill is passionate about strengthening marriage relationships. She is a Licensed
    Marriage and Family Therapist and an active member of the American Association of Sexual
    Educators, Counselors and Therapists (ASSECT). Tammy enjoys being an adjunct faculty
    member at Brigham Young University in the School of Family Life where she teaches hundreds
    of students each semester in Marriage Preparation, Marriage Enhancement and Healthy
    Sexuality in Marriage courses. Tammy owns a private counseling practice where she largely
    works with couples. She has free resources available on her website
    (http://www.tammyhill.com) where she also offers numerous Making Love Retreats,
    Honeymoon Workshops and Dating Bootcamps each year. Published in 2021, Tammy’s first
    book, “God Made Girls and Boys” is a beautiful children’s book addressing agency, gender,
    accountability, and hope in our Heavenly Parent’s eternal plan. Her second book, “Replenish:
    Creating Sexual Fulfillment in Marriage”, was published earlier this year. Most importantly
    Tammy is forever grateful to be a wife, mother and grandmother.

    Insights:

    Tammy: Humans are created with a capacity to have amazing sexual pleasure. Push yourself to
    learn how to replenish each other.

    Dave: Make time to intentionally have sex with your partner.

    Liz: Monogamous does not have to mean monotonous.

    Invites:

    • Instead of waiting for your partner to change, recognize the part you play in
      conflict and seek to change it without any guarantee that your partner will do the
      same. You may find that your partner’s response to your change is exactly what you
      hoped.
    • Examine whether there is contempt in your relationship. If you “horibilize” your
      partner by objectifying them and only seeing their faults and their weaknesses, you
      might be guilty of contempt.
    • As yourself, “ If I were to give my whole heart to my partner, what would it occur
      to me to do?”. Be still and then heed that inner call to connect

    Tammy Hill Links:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tammy_hill_lmft/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/replenishyourmarriage

    Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5wSW6CZ431e8nJFCVMUyeZ

     

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    December 25, 2023

    Christmas Memories & Traditions | Dave & Liz | #65

    Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas. Today, Liz, Dave, and Rex share family traditions, memories of celebrations past, and relationship insights.

    December is a time of celebration for many that include cultural traditions. The holidays can be many things for many people: great joy, chaos, solemn reflection or new beginnings. Join us as we discuss Christmas memories, traditions, and share some tips to help you navigate your relationship during the holidays. 

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    December 18, 2023

    Tips For Managing In-laws & Family Gatherings | Dave & Liz | #64

    Rex joins Dave and Liz today to discuss tips for managing In-laws and family gatherings.

    Relationships with extended family can be tricky or sometimes difficult and anxiety inducing. Dr. John Gottman says, "Every marriage is a cross-cultural experience." Whether we come from similar cultures or not, together we create a brand new culture within our new families. 

    The holidays bring opportunities to spend time with our extended family. Though these gatherings can bring many emotions to the service, here are four tips to help settle in and make the best of the time for you and them.

    1. Speak Kindly: Speak kindly to your partner about their family and friends. Share concerns or issues with a compassion mindfulness and heart.
    2. Get Curious: When you bring an open curiosity to your family gatherings, you can learn things about your extended family, your spouse, and yourself. Being curious also creates the opportunity for bids for connection and leads to relationship building. People love to share stories, likes, and things about themselves. So take a moment to get curious about your extended family and treasure the experience.
    3. Lean In: Leaning in creates situations where everyone can be included and participate in a comfortable way. It's a good idea to prepare at least one activity, topic, or item to bring to the gathering that will get everyone wanting to contribute or participate. This could be a simple game, social activity, food or recipe or possibly even a toy of some sort. When the moment arrives, rise to the occasion and lean in.
    4. Plan Your Exit: Sometimes we can only contain so much joy at family gathering before problems may arise. Have an exit plan or strategy in place so that you and your spouse can discretely signal each other that you have reached your quota or are ready to go. This can be a fun and relationship building exercise for you and your spouse. Rex shares a strategy and code for "I am ready to go" that he and his wife have developed over their marriage.
    5. Avoid Contentious Conversation Topics: It's usually best to avoid discussing religion and politics at social gatherings. And if you have a family member that enjoys sharing advice, listen with a curious mind, but be ready to respond politely. Some examples might be, "That is interesting, I will have to think about that." or "That's a good idea, but we're going to do it this way." or "Thanks, but this seems to be working for us right now."
    6. Beware of Criticism: We may be able to tease our own family, but when someone else mentions a criticism it can be triggering. So be respectful and compassionate, and it is probably best to keep critiques to ourselves.

    Keys To A Stronger Marriage Connection:

    Rex - "Never complain, criticize, or mention problems between you and your spouse to family or friends. Keep it between you and your spouse or seek professional counsel"

    Take-aways:

    Liz - "Allow your spouse to have and handle their relationships with others. Don't force them to forgive or just move on. Let them work on the relationships or issues at their pace and in their way."

    Rex - "Get curious. Get curious with people and learn about them. People love to talk about themselves or share things they are interested in. And, have an exit plan so you and your spouse can respect each others comfort zones and so they feel safe."

    Dave - "Practice Compassion and Understanding. Give people the benefit of the doubt and be able to slow down and don't get caught up in the thick of thin things. People are more important than problems."

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    December 11, 2023

    A Parents Guide to Answering Kid's Questions About Sex | Stacy Goulding | #63

    Stacy Goulding joins Dr. Dave Schramm to discuss how she is able to help educate youth about reproductive health. She also shares some tips for couples to have positive intimate relationships.

    About Stacy Goulding:

    Stacy is a licensed health educator that has spent the last decade teaching at-risk youth about
    reproductive health. She's passionate about preparing couples for a positive intimate
    relationship in their marriage. She believes everyone deserves comprehensive research based
    information about how the body works. Thus her true intimacy class was created. She's
    currently developing a class for parents to teach kids of all ages about healthy sexuality. She also was a wellness coach specializing in women and postpartum wellness. In addition to teaching Stacy loves cycling, dancing, kayaking, pickleball and classic rock. She resides in Utah with her husband and two sons.

    Insights:

    “And it's really simple. And you can also approach it from, ‘where do babies come from,’ and
    you start small and grow with your kids' development.” -Stacy Goulding

    “I think overall being authentic is really important. It's okay to tell your kid I've never given a sex talk before where I wasn't given the sex talk before or I'm feeling nervous, because this is my first time or I don't want to say it wrong. But you can say those things. And just say, but this is so important, I think it is worth going through the awkward or the uncomfortable to discuss this.” -Stacy Goulding

    "It's not like "Don't do it, it's bad!". It's like "No, sex is amazing when there are proper boundaries and values in place." Especially with teens right now, they want to know "why?". There are not just listening to Mom & Dad said so, they don't care. So giving them the "why?" really matters. "Hey I want you to have this in the future. Let's get there through this healthier and safer path." -Stacy Goulding

    Invites:

    • Look at the courses that Stacy has to offer on her website.
    • If you have children, start today by talking positively about their bodies and the ways
      that you show affection with your partner.
    • Learn about consent and how you can implement asking for consent in your relationship
      or marriage.

    Stacy's Links:

    https://stacylyncoaching.com/

    instagram: @stacylyn_coaching

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    December 4, 2023

    Dealing With Changes & Transitions in Marriage & Relationships | Laura Parry | #62

    Laura Parry joins Dr. Dave Schramm to discuss tips that help couples to transition to
    parenthood. Laura shares her insight and experience on how partners can support each other
    during this stressful time.

    About Laura Parry

    Laura holds a Master's of Social Work from the University of Utah, and in 2019 became certified in perinatal mental health. In addition to helping clients through the perinatal period, she enjoys working with those experiencing faith transitions. She earned a clinical yoga certification in 2021 and loves using the healing power of yoga, nature and therapy for clients and for herself. She lives in Lehi with her husband, three kids, two cats, and one dog and loves reading, hiking and playing the piano.

    Insights

    • “I would want people to know that your relationship can not just survive, but you can thrive even if there's been a change and relationship and faith in religion.” - Laura Parry
    • “I also want women to know that this is a vulnerable time for them, it can be a hard time,
      obviously, it comes with a lot of excitement and joy to hopefully, but that they're allowed to feel the whole range of emotions that come with a transition as big as having a baby.” -Laura Parry

    Invites

    • Check out the resources at rootsbranceswellness.com
    • If you’re preparing to have a baby, sit down with your partner to talk about the SHRIMP
      acronym and talk about your expectations for when the baby arrives.
    • Learn more about understanding faith transitions by talking with someone who has gone or is going through one.

    Laura's Links

    https://www.rootsbrancheswellness.com

    Instagram: @_lauraparry

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    November 27, 2023

    Remarriage: Balancing A Blended Family and Sharing A Business | Kevin & Tracey Parr | #61

    Kevin and Racy Parr joining Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about their
    experience in a blended family and 28 years of marriage.

    About Kevin & Tracey Parr
    Kevin and Tracy Parr have been married for 28 years and run a business together in St. George,
    UT. They have 3 kids together with two that struggle with mental health illnesses. They have
    years of experience working through differences and the difficulties of re-marriage. Kevin and
    Tracy have been nicknamed “velcro” because of the way they enjoy doing everything together.

    Insights

    • “Every now and then we just had to figure that it was okay to completely, totally disagree about something, and table it for a while.” - Kevin Parr 25:57-26:22
    • “I feel that you need to stay connected with your spouse and in all the things that you do.” - Tracy Parr 31:43-32:02
    • “One of the authors we had on recently, Ted Lowe would say this favorite phrase, which I really coined is "I would feel the same way if I were you." Which is probably true, right?” - Dr. Liz Hale 38:33-38:55

    Invites

    • Find a new resource; a book, podcast or instagram page that will help you to learn more about what you and your spouse are wanting to work on.
    • In parenting, remember to not take your child’s feeling of sadness or anger as personal attacks against you.

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    November 20, 2023

    Managing Money in Marriage | Ryan Law #2 | #60

    Ryan Law joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss managing money within
    strong marriages. He talks about the importance of assuming the best and the 5 Money Habits
    to financial success.

    About Ryan Law:
    Ryan Law is the Director of the Utah Valley University (UVU) Money Success Center. He is an
    award-winning educator who teaches the Financial Counseling courses as part of the Personal
    Financial Planning program at UVU. Ryan is a Certified Financial Planner™ professional (CFP®)
    and an Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC®). Ryan is the author of the books, “Student Loan
    Planning,” “Make Positive Changes” and co-editor of the book “Financial Counseling.” Ryan and his wife, Traci, have been married for 24 years and they live in Utah county with their 5 children.

    Insights:

    • “I would encourage couples to do two things. First, to not assume bad intent on your spouse's part. And second, to wait until you have all of the facts.” - Ryan Law
    • “Those who give and find a way to give in a way that they both agree to are healthier, happier, and even richer.” -Dr. Liz Hale
    • “Nobody wins really, as soon as it erupts and it becomes emotional when you get defensive and name calling everything you had just doesn't just does not go well” -Dr. Dave Schramm

    Invites:

    • Think of an experience when you had wrong assumptions about the way that they spent
      money and think about what you could do differently next time to assume the best.
    • Join Ryan Law’s email list to learn about more tips that will help you to master the money side of your marriage

    Ryan’s Links:

    https://money-marriage.com/

    https://powerpay.org

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

     

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    November 13, 2023

    Breaking Free Together: Overcoming Addiction in Marriage | Kris & Adrian | #59

    Kris and Adrian Maiava join Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about their
    experience in meeting with Dr. Liz Hale. They talk about their experience in coming together
    through therapy and overcoming addiction.

    About Kris and Adrian Maiava:
    Kris and Adrian met in Utah although they grew up in Hawaii and Australia. They share an
    incredible story of working through struggles and addictions, separations and learning to love
    and trust again. After three years in an intensive treatment program, Kris learned things about
    himself and his marriage that changed his life. And Adrian learned patience and experienced
    tremendous growth as she hung on to hope and learned to forgive. Together they have grown
    stronger than ever and enjoy parenting their 5 year old daughter Lola.

    Insights:

    • “I guess some questions to ask yourselves as to you know, do you still want to be partners with them, with your significant other? Do you still want to do this with them? If so, if yes. And if they want to as well, then I think it's worth it.” - Kris Maiava
    • “Better choices lead to better chances.” -Dave Schramm
    • “But there was a point in your life where you decided, this is the person that I want to do life
      with. So that should be the person that you offer the most grace to.” -Adrian Maiava

    Invites:

    • If you are struggling with addiction, seek outside help.

    • Have a 10 minute discussion with your partner about something that is challenging your
      relationship and find a way to overcome it together

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    November 6, 2023

    Parenting With Purpose: Family Life Coaching for a Brighter Future | Dr. Kim Allen | #58

    Dr. Kim Allen joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about Family Life Coaching.
    She talks about what it is, what it isn't, and even a few examples and stories of clients she's
    worked with.

    About Kim Allen:

    Dr. Kimberly Allen is Interim Associate Dean and Director of Academic Programs and Professor in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences at North Carolina State University, as well as CO creator of the family life coaching Association, and co-owner of Sweet Gestalt LLC. Dr. Ellen has over 20 years experience working with youth and their families. Her research interests include family life coaching, student success, parenting and relationship Education. Dr. Ellen is author of the book “Theory, Research and Practical Guidelines for Family Life Coaching.”

    Insights:

    “So really at its core family life coaching is taking what we know in Family Science about what's good in couple relationships, what's good and family relationships and partnering that with the process from coaching psychology.” - Dr. Kimberly Allen


    “You said the words listening for instead of listening to. You listen for feelings, you're listening
    for strengths, and just trying to see things from their perspective” - Dr. Dave Schramm

    Invites:

    • Learn more about Family Life Coaching on the FLC Association’s website.
    • Consider reaching out to a Family Life Coach to help you to improve your interpersonal
      relationships.

    Kim Allen’s Links:

    Organization Website: flcassociation.org
    Personal Website: drkimallen.com

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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    October 30, 2023

    Preparing For Parenthood: Starting a Family | Beth Goss | #57

    Beth Goss joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about tips for bringing a
    baby home. She discusses the principles taught in Gottman’s “Bringing Baby Home” program.

    About Beth Goss

    Beth Goss is a certified Gottman, educator and a training specialist for the bringing baby home program. She is also a full time faculty member at North Seattle College, where she teaches aparent education and child development classes to families raising children from birth to five years. Additionally, she was previously employed by Swedish Medical Center to teach childbirth, postpartum and sibling classes. She has authored several articles and has been interviewed for several podcasts discussing the transition to parenthood. Beth is originally from Queens, New York, but has called Seattle home for 31 years. She lives there with her husband and loves it when her adult kids visit

    Insights:

    • “The key for us was what we call the three T's watching our temper, tongue, and tone.” - Dave Schramm
    •  “That's not why you got married, you know, you got married because you love each other and your best friends and you have fun together.” - Beth Goss
    • “I think a big piece of advice is don't wait to be asked. Don't wait for your partner to say, could you do X?” - Beth Goss

    Invites:

    • Download the Gottman App to find the questions relating to the “Bringing Baby Home”
      program.
    • Enroll in the “Bringing Baby Home” training based on researched tips on how to prepare for starting a family.
    • Learn about tips that will help you to connect with your partner more on Gottman’s “SmallThings Often” podcast.

    Beth Goss’s Links:

    Gottman Website: https://www.gottman.com/
    Personal Website: https://www.bethgoss.com/

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

     

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    October 23, 2023

    Second Chances: Saving a Second Marriage From Divorce | #56

    Mike and Heidi Condie join Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about their experience from almost separating to having a strong healthy marriage. Mike and Heidi vouch that if they can get through the challenges that they have worked through, then anyone can.

    About Michael and Heidi Condie: Mike and Heidi are a couple from Liz's private practice who were on the brink of divorce. They were suffocating from stress and challenges related to their remarriage and stepfamily and were spiraling downward in negative communication patterns. Together with Liz's guidance, they put in the work starting with themselves and then continued to fight for their marriage instead of against each other. Their journey has been truly inspiring.

    Insights: “You know me and you still love me? I don't think it gets any better than that” - Dr. Liz Hale “And she said, but what I can tell you is, whatever skills or things you don't learn how to resolve in this marriage. I promise you, you will have the same issues in the next relationship.” -Heidi Condie “And I think even before the work is humility, being open and recognizing that I need to work.” -Dr. Dave Schramm “And it was the love for each other that we had for each other, that was the most important.” -Mike Condie

    Invites: - Rate the strength of your relationship this week on a scale of 1 to 10, then ask your partner what you can do to show up a little bit better for them. - Create a gratitude book where you and your partner can randomly list things that you are grateful for about your partner. Place the book in a central location in your home.

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org

    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

     

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

     

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    October 16, 2023

    How To Change Your Marriage Mindset | Ted Lowe | #55

    Today Ted Lowe joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss how to change your
    marriage mindset in order to change your relationship. Ted believes that you can change your
    marriage by first changing your thoughts.

    About Ted Law:
    Ted Lowe Ted Lowe is on staff with Family First, where he serves as a speaker, writer, resource
    creator, and podcast host. He is also the founder of For Us Marriage.com. He is the author of
    several incredible books, including his most recent release, Us in Mind: How Changing Your
    Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage. Ted lives with his wife, Nancie, and their 4 children in
    Cumming, GA.

    Insights:
    “Don’t let anybody celebrate your spouse more than you.” - Ted Lowe
    "If we think something, then we're going to look for ways to confirm it." -Dr. Dave Schramm
    “What I think about myself radically determines how my spouse experiences me at any given
    moment.” -Dr. Liz Hale

    Invites:
       -   Learn more about a growth mindset and have a 10 minute discussion with your partner about how it could help you in your marriage.
       -   Think of one hobby that your partner gets excited about and then come up with something you could do to get excited with them

    Ted Lowe’s Links:

    Forusmarriage.com
    Facebook: For Us Marriage
    Instagram: @forusmarriage
    Book: https://a.co/d/iMqdiZj


    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:


    StrongerMarriage.org

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

     

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU 

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    httpe://www.drlizhale.com

     

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    October 9, 2023

    Finding Financial Harmony in Marriage | Ryan Law | #54

    Ryan Law joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss how partners can have a
    healthy money relationship. Ryan talks about the importance of regular financial planning
    meetings and understanding your partner’s attitudes, beliefs and experiences with money.

    About Ryan Law:
    Ryan Law is the Director of the Utah Valley University (UVU) Money Success Center. He is an
    award-winning educator who teaches the Financial Counseling courses as part of the Personal
    Financial Planning program at UVU. Ryan is a Certified Financial Planner™ professional (CFP®)
    and an Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC®). Ryan is the author of the books, “Student Loan
    Planning,” “Make Positive Changes” and co-editor of the book “Financial Counseling.” Ryan and his wife, Traci, have been married for 24 years and they live in Utah county with their 5 children.

    Insights:

     - “People will do things for reasons that make sense to them.” - Dave Schramm
     - "Today is the right day to start having financial conversations." -Ryan Law
     - "And it doesn't mean that one is right and one is wrong" - Liz Hale

    Invites:

     - Sign up for Ryan Law’s email list.
     - Schedule a monthly financial planning meeting with your partner to discuss what you
    spent last month and make some guidelines for the next month!
     - Make a separate savings account for a specific fun financial goal! Ex. Disneyland trip,
    backyard upgrade etc.

    Ryan’s Links:

    https://money-marriage.com/

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    https://strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org

    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

     

     

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    October 2, 2023

    How To Make Love Last | Kyle Benson | #53

    On today’s episode, the well known author, Kyle Benson joins Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz to
    discuss the simple principles that make marriage last. Kyle discusses the profound effectiveness of Emotion Focused Therapy in the stabilization of relationships. In addition, he recognizes the benefits of using the research by John and Julie Gottman to maintain a healthy relationship.

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Kyle Benson?
    3:00 - Combination of Gottman Method and Emotional Based Therapy
    8:36 – What is the longing for attachment?
    10:15 –Am I enough? Am I worthy of love and care?
    12:50 – Attachment Strategies/Styles
    16:03 – Emotion Focused Therapy
    20:15 – Conflict is fire
    22:43 – One sided partner effort
    26:10 – What is the key to a stronger marriage connection?
    27:25 – Kyle’s resources
    28:40 – Takeaways

    About Kyle Benson:

    Kyle studies how partners in healthy relationships intentionally –talk to each other, have passionate sex, stay emotionally connected, and more – to uncover the tools and perspectives that make love last. His work has been featured in dozens of major media channels including The Gottman Institute, Business Insider, U.S. News, The Chicago Tribune, Huffington Post, and more.

    Insights:

    Liz: The healthy “We” starts with a healthy “Me.”
    Kyle: Underneath every criticism is a longing for attachment.
    Dave: It is not necessarily a poor partner but a poor pattern.

    Invites:

       -    Join Kyle Benson’s email list to get free and easily acceptable tips to make marriage last.
       -    Take 10 minutes to write down how you are going to change the unwanted patterns in your relationship.

    Kyles’s Links:

    https://www.kylebenson.net/

    FB @Kyle Benson: https://www.facebook.com/kylebenson.net

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

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    September 25, 2023

    The Magic of Matchmaking | Aleeza Ben Shalom | #52

    On today's episode, the Netflix hit Aleeza Ben Shalom, from “Jewish Matchmaking”
    joins Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz to discuss the magic of matchmaking. Discover what matchmaking is, if it is for you, and how you can build a better marriage based on lessons Aleeza uses during matchmaking. We hope you enjoy!

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Aleeza Ben Shalom?
    7:12 – Tools for matchmaking with your soul mate.
    9:03 – What makes the best match?: Soul mate potential baseline.
    13:50 – Is there something better out there?
    16:00 – Stories of making the match.
    18:14 – Handling challenges with your partner.
    19:05 – Aleeza’s marital success stories.
    21:57 – Benefits of hiring a matchmaker.
    23:45 – "Mystery in your history”
    24:50 – Where can I learn about matchmaking?
    27: 15 – What is the key to a stronger marriage connection?
    29:00 – Aleeza’s resources
    29: 30 – Takeaways

    About Aleeza Ben Shalom:

    Aleeza Ben Shalom is a renowned matchmaker, dating coach, author, sought-after speaker, and soulmate clarity expert who empowers marriage-minded singles to find and identify the one. She guides them from uncertainty and overwhelm to the clarity needed for confident decision-making regarding their potential life partners. Aleeza is the featured Matchmaker on Season 1 of the new Netflix series Jewish Matchmaking. Aleeza authored two insightful books, Get real, Get Married-a guide to get over your hurdles and under the chuppah, and Virtual Dating, your guide to relationships in a socially distanced world. As the founder of Marriage Minded Mentor, a company who focuses on helping singles get married, she connects singles globally with skilled matchmakers and dating coaches.

    Aleeza’s impressive track record has earned her the title of “Jewish Dating Guru,” as she has successfully led over 200 singles through the steps to engagement, regardless of age, affiliation, or life stage.

    For over 15 years, Aleeza has worked with men and women worldwide to break unhealthy patterns and foster relationships that lead to marriage. During this time, she has trained more than 350 dating coaches and matchmakers worldwide.
    She now lives in Israel with her husband, five children and a lovable dog!

    Insights:

    Dave: There are many factors that make us a good match with the people around us.

    Liz: Have hope that there IS a person out there for you!

    Aleeza: World peace begins at home. Do your best to love yourself and build a family.

    Invites:

    • Listen to the matchmaker, matchmaker podcast and find a topic that you love, have a discussion with your partner.
    • Write down what your values, beliefs, attractions, bothers and fears are. Reflect on how these could affect your future dating and marriage experiences.

    Aleeza’s Links:

    IG @Aleezabenshalom
    Fb /aleezabenshalom
    Linkedin/aleezabenshalom
    Twitter/aleezabenshalom
    Tiktok/aleezabenshalom

    The Matchmaker Matchmaker Podcast

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    September 18, 2023

    Beating The Odds in Marriage | Dr. Lee Baucom | #51

    On today's episode, Dr. Lee Baucom joins us, and we have a great discussion about
    intentionality and actively creating a stronger marriage connection both physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Join Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz in this journey on strengthening marriage connection, relationships, and personal values.

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Lee Baucom
    2:30 – Number one concern for new couples
    5:12 – Shifts you need to make in the first year of marriage
    9:08 – Pause button marriage
    12:52 – Difference in how you communicate vs communication skills
    14:25 – The arc of disconnection
    16:14 – Three levels of connection
    18:58 – Intentionality is important
    22:14 – What can you do to reconnect?
    25:51 – Difference between marriage fail point and individual fail point
    28:30 – Husbands bootcamp
    31:36 – There is intentionality behind everything
    35:28 – Key component to a stronger marriage connection
    38:06 – Resources
    39:07 – Takeaways

    About Lee Baucom:

    Dr. Lee Baucom is internationally known for his methods and approaches to saving marriages. For three decades, Lee has been helping people around the world save, restore, and create the marriage they deserve and desire. He's the author of the book, “How to save your marriage in three simple steps”, in addition to six other books, and he's the creator of the highly effective internet Marriage program. Save the marriage. Lee is also the host of two popular podcast Thrive nation and save the marriage.

    Insights:

    Dave: Lack of attention leads to loss of connection. Physical, emotional, and spiritual
    connection all have an impact on your partner, what will you do to strengthen those areas?

    Liz: The key of the “We” and having each other’s backs, we all want someone to get us and know us. You are in this together.

    Lee: Remember the pause button, did you hit pause and what is it going to take to un-pause it. Get more intentional about connecting from a physical, spiritual, and emotional level. Take action.

    Invites:

       -    Shift from “you and me” to “we”. Remember that you are a team, and it is important to acknowledge those struggles as a team.
       -    Mature relationships are not without the feelings of romance and passion but include communications and connection
       -    Husband bootcamp is a video bootcamp structured over 30 days to get into shape and address the wounds that men carry around with them that can get in the way of
    relationships

    Lee Baucom links:

    https://savethemarriage.com/
    https://savethemarriage.com/podcast
    https://savethemarriage.com/books

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    September 11, 2023

    Money Struggles & Financial Planning | Amanda Christensen | #50

    Today’s episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection dives into Amanda
    Christensen’s personal money mission to help couples learn how to manage their finances and build their connection.

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Amanda Christensen?
    2:28 – Why is money such a hard topic to discuss in marriage?
    5:03 – Dave’s experience: managing a tight budget as college students.
    6:02 – Liz’s experience: managing money when you are developing financial independence prior to marriage.
    7:05 – Money autonomy and money wins.
    10:00 – Learn your money personality.
    11:26 – What does the research say about how couples manage finances?
    One spouse handling main finances, trust, communication, chose what kind of account
    management works for you, discovering how to communicate about money without
    argument, little or no debt and living within your means.
    22:40 – Personal finance is personal!
    23:50 – Amanda’s money management tip #1: Have a money plan
    25:18 – Amanda’s money management tip #2: Develop financial trust
    26:16 – Amanda’s money management tip #3: Talk about large purchases
    26:58 – Amanda’s money management tip #4: Talk about debt
    28:14 – Amanda’s money management tip #5: What does it mean to live within your means?
    30:45 – Amanda’s money management tip #6: Work together during challenge
    34:35 – Understanding your own and your spouse’s money script
    37:18 – Resources to find out more about Amanda’s work
    38:36 – Takeaways

    About Amanda Christensen:
    Amanda H. Christensen is an Extension Professor and Accredited Financial Counselor
    responsible for statewide personal finance education through USU Extension. She’s editor of the Utah Money Moms blog. She and her team are the recipients of two consecutive Best of State awards for efforts to improve financial wellness across the state. You can view their live webinar schedule or request a free class for your group at finance.usu.edu/efw. On a Sunday afternoon you’ll find Amanda sipping a Diet Coke with lime at the kitchen table over a 1000 piece puzzle listening to an audio book.

    Insights:

    Dave: Developing trust and communication around money builds connection and allows you to
    be on the same page.

    Liz: The key to a couple’s financial success is about doing what is best for them.

    Amanda: Even couples in great marriages disagree about money, and that’s okay!

    Invites:

       •    Take the online “money personality assessment” at www.powerpay.org and use the
    code “FWFREETANF” for a free e-course and personality assessment. Discuss your
    results with your partner.
       •    A money plan with your partner for the next month. See where you are living
    within your means and may be living outside of your means.
       •    Discover what your money script is by asking yourself the questions Amanda outlines in the podcast. Now, discover what your spouse’s money script is.

    Amanda Christensen Links:

    PowerPay Money Master Online Course Link: www.powerpay.org
    Code for listeners to register for free: “FWFREETANF”

    Financial Management Practices of Couples in Great Marriages Research
    article: https://www.proquest.com/openview/7e860331b30e51876bb6df092364c6b9/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=37909

    Happiness and income research update: 

    https://penntoday.upenn.edu/news/does-more-money-correlate-greater-happiness-Penn-Princeton-research

    The gender gap and retirement: https://www.fidelity.com/learning-center/personal-finance/gender-gap-retirement

    www.utahmoneymoms.com

    @utahmoney moms

    www.finance.usu.edu

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    September 4, 2023

    Relationship Repair: More Than Fighting Fair | Laura Silverstein | #49

    On Today’s episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection, we dive deep into disagreements with our guest, Laura Silverstein, who is a certified Gottman couples therapist. Discover with Dave and Liz all kinds of tips to help couples manage differences in their marriage shared by Laura.

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Laura Silverstein
    1:47 – Conflict is not a bad thing in marriage
    4:00 – The number one communication problem in couple relationships
    6:21 – Two parts to establishing new habits
    11:11 – Four horsemen – John Gottman
    14:55 – What to do when both partners continue to be critical
    18:27 – How to repair damages within a partnership
    23:50 – Ownership, humility and kindness
    27:05 – A little about Laura’s book workbook
    29:07 – Key to a stronger marriage connection
    31:35 – Takeaway’s

    About Laura Silverstein:

    Laura Silverstein is Certified Gottman Couples therapist as well as a recognized thought leader in the field of relationship wellness, sought out for her expert advice from media outlets such as, the New York Times and the today's show. In her book, Love is an action verb, Laura helps couples focus on their strengths instead of their problems and guides them with small step by step action plans.

    Insights:

    Dave: It takes humility, compassion, understanding and awareness when rebuilding something that has fallen. Take the time to slow things down and really look at things from a wider perspective

    Liz: Take ownership, be humble and stay kind when working through a repair in couple relationships

    Laura: It is important to have humility and stay humble when we enter loving relationships, no matter the challenges at hand

    Invites:

       •    Take ownership, have humility and be kind. Those are key things to effectively repair a relationships

       •    When things start to escalate, it is good to ask for a break – take a time out and revisit later

       •    Two parts to learn – learning how to avoid conflict in the first place, if possible, and understanding how to get out of it once you are stuck

    Laura Silverstein Links:

    https://laurasilverstein.co

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    August 28, 2023

    The 7 Primal Questions | Mike Foster | #48

    On today’s episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection, learn about the 7 primal
    questions that all humans are seeking to answer if their lives, careers and especially their relationships. Discover with Dave, Liz and Mike how to remedy these questions and understand their answers and how that works in your life.

     

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Mike Foster?
    2:02 – What is the primal question model?
    5:17 – The 7 Primal Questions
    9:09 – How does understanding these questions apply to marriage?
    13:38 – Satellite questions
    15:14 – How does the primal question model apply to parenting?
    18:12 – Understanding the importance of seeking emotional intelligence
    20:19 – Safeguarding the scramble
    22:48 – How does answering the primal question affect communication?
    27:26 – The 7 Primal Questions assessment
    30:24 – What is the most common primal question?
    31:45 – Key to a stronger marriage connection
    32:37 – Where to find more resources
    34:16 – Takeaways

     

    About Mike Foster:

    Known as the Mr. Rogers of personal development, Mike Foster is a best-selling author,
    speaker, and executive coach empowering people to build strong lives and relationships.
    His new book “The Seven Primal Questions” is a revolutionary new way to understand our emotional needs. Based on over four years of research and 6,000 hours of one-on-one interviews, the Primal Question model will transform your relationship with yourself and others. Mike’s work has been featured on Good Morning America, FOX News and the New York Times. He lives in San Diego with his wife Jennifer and their fluffy dog.

     

    Insights:

    Mike: Awareness needs to be moved into action.

    Dave: Be aware of ACE’s and see how we can provide ourselves and other safety, connection and security.

    Liz: Behavior adaptation makes a difference in how we act today.

     

    Invites:

       •    Ask your spouse how you can answer their primal question with a “yes.”
       •    Sit down with yourself or your spouse and discover which of the 7 primal
    questions you need to be answered. Share this with your partner and write it down
    in a journal or safe space where you can review it often.
       •    Seek to understand what your child’s primal question is by talking with your
    spouse and child about what they need from you as a parent.
       •    Take the assessment @ mikefoster.tv

     

    Mike Foster Links:

    https://www.mikefoster.tv

    https://www.instagram.com/mikefoster2000/

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    August 21, 2023

    How To Escape The Dating Game | Julie Balkman | #47

    On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz sit
    down with life coach Julie Balkman and discuss the dating game when it comes to relationships and how to get out of the game and develop healthy happy relationships without the runaround.

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Julie Balkman?
    2:01 – Getting into coaching
    5:47 – Thinking that gets us stuck
    7:28 – Playing the dating game can be confusing
    8:30 – Being in a “situationship”
    9:28 – CCQ: Clear, Concise, Quick
    14:04 – Largest obstacles for dating today
    17:36 – Good tips on connecting in dating
    18:33 – Two things to look for in a partner
    21:22 – Some practical tips and tools
    23:22 – Decision making success system
    25:27 – Dating Interview Project
    28:42 – Key to a stronger marriage connection
    30:05 – Where to find more resources
    31:50 – Takeaways

    About Julie Balkman:

    Julie Balkman was trained and mentored by 3 life coaching programs which resulted in
    eight years and thousands of hours in coaching experience. She is an expert panelist
    for the LDS dating app “Mutual” and is currently writing a book about LDS dating. She
    was a former co-host of a three-year international young adult support group and is the
    owner/operator of the 100 interviews project, a project involving 120 young adults
    interviewed about dating. She is an artist and illustrator and loves to dance!

    Insights:

    Julie: Be responsible: being responsible is sexy, romantic, confident, peaceful, and loving. When you are responsible you create a better life for yourself and your significant other.

    Dave: It is critical to have a willingness to learn. It is ok to accept different things and want tolearn and change, especially within a relationship.

    Liz: I love the idea of CCQ, clear concise and quick

    Invites:

       •    Invite me to share my Dating Map Presentation as a guest speaker. I love speaking and teaching to any size audience.
       •    I have 1:1 coaching packages, plus a VIP acceleration package, which I would love to tell about. VIP: 6 weeks, 6 days a week, 20 minutes each day.
       •    Start with love, learn how to be a receiver of love so you can be ready for a real
    relationship.

    Julie Balkman Links:

    https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=julie+balkman&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

    https://www.instagram.com/lifecoach.julie/?hl=en

    https://www.linkedin.com/in/julie-balkman-0898031a5/

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    August 14, 2023

    Marriage & Money Matters | Dr. Ashley LeBaron-Black | #46

    In this episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast, Dr. Ashley LeBaron-
    Black tackles the hard conversation “How do I manage money in marriage.” Join us to learn how conversations about money can connect you and your partner rather than pull you apart.

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Ashley Lebaron-Black?
    1:48 – Is the issue really about money?
    5:12 – Managing money habits: Family background
    7:34 – Working together to manage money
    8:45 – Family financial socialization
    10:25 – Overcoming discomfort in talking about money
    12:00 – Money management matters: Debt, materialism, financial deception, etc.
    15: 35 – Joint bank accounts
    18:08 – Financial therapy for marriage
    19:30 – What makes a stronger marriage connection to Ashley
    20:10 – Ashley’s tools and tips
    24:50 – How do I bring up money while dating?
    36:40 – Takeaways

    About Dr. Ashley LeBaron-Black:

    Dr. Ashley LeBaron-Black is an Assistant Professor of Family Life at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. She received her PhD in Family Studies and Human Development from the University of Arizona. Her research focus is family finance, including finances in couple relationships and financial socialization. Ashley has published over 50 peer-reviewed articles and is an Associate Editor for the Journal of Family and Economic Issues. She is Chair of the Family Financial Wellbeing focus group for the National Council on Family Relations (NCFR).

    Insights:

    Ashley: Don’t let your money control you and your marriage; you can control it

    Dave: There is no right way to manage money in your marriage, but it is so important to
    understand where your ideas of money management are coming from. Take some time to understand and communicate that with your partner.

    Liz: Talk about money with your partner, be honest.

    Invites:

       •    Sit down with your partner this week and develop a monthly budget together.
       •    Talk to your spouse about how you want to manage your money together going
    forward. Should we do a monthly meeting, get a joint bank account, etc.?
       •    Read a blog post from Ashley’s website to understand a part of money management you and your partner may not understand.

    Ashley Lebaron-Black's Links:

    https://lebaron-black.byu.edu/

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    August 7, 2023

    How To Help Friends & Family with Marriage Struggles | Dr. Bill Doherty | #45

    On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz sit
    down with Dr. Bill Doherty, back from Season 1 due to popular demand, to share how we can all become marital first responders. A long time Marriage and Family Therapist, he is an expert on challenges couples face when navigating marital crisis.

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Bill Doherty?
    2:29 – Where the idea of marital first responders comes from
    4:42 – First important step in being a first responder.
    6:32 – Other Do’s and Don’ts
    9:45 – We can be an influence
    12:16 – Common complaints from marriages
    15:26 – Perspective skill technique example
    19:16 – Learning to protect boundaries
    21:36 – Unforced error
    24:12 – You can be a friend to someone and their marriage
    30:33 – What to say without adding negativity
    31:14 – Where to get more resources from Bill
    32:55 – Takeaways

     

    About Bill Doherty:

    Bill Doherty is a Professor in the Department of Family Social Science at the University
    of Minnesota. A long-time marriage and family therapist, he is an expert on challenges
    couples face in the modern world, on navigating marital crisis and avoiding divorce, and
    on using family rituals to enhance the quality of family life. His books for the public
    include The Intentional Family and Take Back Your Marriage. In recent years Bill has
    taken this couples work to the national level via cofounding Braver Angels, an initiative
    working to decrease the political polarization that is dividing the country. Among his awards is the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Family Therapy
    Academy.

     

    Insights:

    Bill: Marriage is existing of social relationships and when people open up, it is a precious gift they are giving. It is good to be mindful and intentional in how we respond.

    Dave: We can have empathy without agreeing with others perspectives, you can still show compassion and lend a helping hand even if we don’t necessarily agree with what they may be saying.

    Liz: LEAP: Listen, empathy, affirm and positive perspective

     

    Invites:

       •    Check out maritalfirstresponders.org and participate in some of the workshops available to you.

       •    When giving advice to friends it is important to be a good friend to that person but also their marriage, listen with empathy but don’t rush to give advice. Don’t jump to take a friend’s side without considering the whole picture.

       •    Use life experience when giving out advice, you may not be an expert but we all have experiences to take and learn from when helping others.

     

    Bill Doherty Links:

    https://thedohertyapproach.com/about/

    Bill Doherty Books

    https://memberium.com/

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    July 3, 2023

    Saving A Marriage On The Brink of Divorce | Sam & Ember | #44

    Sam and Ember were on the verge of divorce for several years. They were a couple that Dr. Liz Hale worked with in her private practice, and they are willing to no longer be private but go public and share how they miraculously turned their marriage around from miserable to incredible.

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who are Sam and Ember?
    2:35 – What is something you wish you would have known before getting married?
    4:51 – Contributors to the breakdown of a marriage
    9:00 – Sam’s background
    11:56 – How can two people experience one marriage differently?
    15:45 – Addressing ‘me’ to fix ‘we’
    20:00 – Ember’s ah-ha moments toward change
    26:01 – Sam’s ah-ha moments toward change
    31:00 – Communication strategies
    36:43 – The role of forgiveness in healing
    41:08 – Strategies to maintain connection
    43:14 – Advice for couples on the brink
    46:16 – Honesty is a key for a stronger marriage connection. Seek what’s best for the marriage.

    Insights:

    Sam: Get help. Some issues may be beyond what the two of you can do together. Be honest. You can decide what kind of spouse you want to be.

    Ember: Deal with conflict before the weekend. Start your weekend with a clean slate.

    Invites:

       -    Deal with conflict as soon as you can. If there is something bothering you, sit down and have a conversation about it with your partner when you both are in a clear headspace.

       -    Take some time today to evaluate yourself. Is there something you need to forgive yourself for?

        -    Give your partner a hug, a small peck on the cheek, or a squeeze of the hand today. Just a little physical affection can go a long way.

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    June 26, 2023

    How To Overcome Roommate Syndrome | Nate Bagley | #43

    Do you ever feel like your partner is more like a roommate than a spouse? This isn’t uncommon for couples to experience, and is actually a feature of marriage than a bug. Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz talk with Nate Bagley about “Roommate Syndrome” and discuss how being in this rut can act as a catalyst for growing up our marriage. As something that everyone in a relationship encounters, this podcast is a must-listen-to resource to create a stronger marriage connection!

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Nate Bagley?
    1:42 – Fear of a mediocre marriage
    3:59 – Interviewing the most successful and happy couples
    6:15 – What is “roommate syndrome”?
    10:20 – How to get the spark back in your marriage
    12:30 – How to get out of the roommate rut
    18:01 – Roommate syndrome is a feature, not a bug
    19:57 – Happiness is a byproduct of growth
    22:20 – The Eisenhower Matrix
    27:10 – What do we need to do to have a great marriage?
    30:10 – Maximize enjoyment for both people
    32:48 – Nate Bagley resources
    33:32 – Nate’s takeaway: you have more control over your marriage than you think
    35:33 – Liz’s takeaway: remember maximum joint enjoyment
    36:06 – Dave’s takeaway: the pillars of friendship – I like you, I know you, I trust you

    About Nate Bagley:

    Nate Bagley is a marriage researcher and educator whose mission is to rid the world of mediocre love. His passion is helping people DO the things that make their relationships extraordinary.

    In 2012, Nate did a cross-country road trip where he interviewed the country’s most madly-in-love couples, and renowned relationship experts to discover the secrets of truly epic, lasting love.

    Since then, he’s given a TEDx talk, and been published in Business Insider, Thrive Global, The Good Men Project, the Gottman Institute blog, and many other outlets. He always loves hearing from his readers and listeners, so please feel free to reach out to him at his website here.

    Insights:

    Nate: Happiness is a byproduct of growth and roommate syndrome is a byproduct, not a bug. Roommate syndrome gives you the opportunity to grow up.

    Dave: Foster the 3 pillars of friendship: I like you, I know you, I trust you.

    Liz: Remember to focus on maximum joint enjoyment.

    Invites:

       -    If you feel like you and your partner have roommate syndrome, try doing something out of your comfort zone today (ask a personal question, address a topic that makes you anxious, etc.).
       -   It’s the little things that get you out of roommate syndrome. Try making your partner a meal they wouldn’t expect (like breakfast or lunch), or sending them a sweet text while they’re away (even if not for very long).
       -    Try to make your marriage enjoyable for everyone. Is there something you grew up doing that your partner doesn’t particularly enjoy? Talk about it with them. What could you do to make things more enjoyable for them?

    Nate Bagley Links:

       -    https://growthmarriage.com/

       -    https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/awr/

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    June 19, 2023

    A Better Approach for Dating & Marriage | Dr. John Van Epp | #42

    On today’s episode, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz talk with Dr. John Van Epp who brings to light some of the most important things we can do when selecting a life partner as well as how to strengthen those relationships over time. We learn some of the predictors of how long-term relationships will turn out as well as some principles to help navigate both red and green flags within our relationships.

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is John Van Epp?
    2:42 – Life-partner selection process
    11:58 – Predictors of getting to “know” and getting to “no”
    13:33 – Media love vs True love
    16:10 – Let heart and head work together
    20:00 – Discerning our partner is a process
    26:16 – 5 ways to notice green flags and red flags
    31:30 – With definition comes implementation
    34:02 – Attraction alone is not enough
    35:04 – Key areas to address stressors and struggles in dating
    40:43 – Being equally yoked strengthens connection
    42:32 – Have a game plan for managing your relationship
    44:26 – John’s relationship resources
    47:10 – John’s takeaway: heart and head are meant to work together
    48:38 – Liz’s takeaway: Partner selection process is key
    49:04 – Dave’s takeaway: Trust and commitment grow over time, RAM is a great resource

    About John Van Epp:

    John Van Epp, PhD, President and Founder of Love Thinks, LLC is the author of How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk (or Jerkette) - top choice for singles by Christianity Today; Becoming Better Together: the RAM plan for growing together when life is pulling you apart; and Endgame: The Church’s Strategic Move to Save Faith
    and Family in America.

    He has previous experience as
       -    a founding church pastor
       -    an adjunct seminary professor in marriage and family with extensive research in
    premarital, marital, and family relations
       -    a clinical counselor for 25 years in his private counseling practice
       -    and for over 20 years, he has trained military personnel and contracted with the military as a subject matter expert (SME) in relationship health, psychology, religion, suicide, and resilience.

    For the past 25 years, he has developed relationship programs that have been taught by over 35,000 certified instructors to over one million participants.

    He was awarded the Smart Marriage and the NARME Impact Awards, and has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Time Magazine, Psychology Today, O Magazine; he has appeared on the CBS Early Show, Good Morning America, Fox News, and Focus on the Family.

    Insights:

    John: With definition comes implementation. Your heart and your head are meant to work together in making decisions.

    Dave: Trust and commitment grow over time.

    Liz: There is very little you can do to compensate after marriage for choosing poorly before marriage.

    Invites:

       -    After your next date, self-reflect and ask yourself: “Was there something I could have said or done to make my partner feel more seen?”
       -    Take a dating class to better help discern what kind of person you are dating and if they are someone you want to be with long-term.
       -    When getting to know someone, ask about or observe one of these 5 subjects: family, conscience (belief system), compatibility potential (what kinds of things do you agree on?), track record (dating/relationship history), and/or their skill level of relationships.

    John Van Epp Links:

       -    https://www.mylovethinks.com/
       -    Dr. Morgan Cutlip Instagram
       -    https://ramseries.com/
       -    Healthy Relationships Utah

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    June 12, 2023

    Keys For Successful Addiction Recovery | Dr. Robert Navarra | #41

    Our podcast today is with our guest speaker Dr. Robert Navarra. He talks about addiction and how there is hope in recovering. An interesting talking point he mentions is that recovery should be done as a partnership. He provides some helpful insights for partners in dealing with the disease of addiction that can sweep into a relationship.

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Robert Navarra?
    2:44 – Fear and misunderstanding of addiction
    5:42 – What’s the difference between codependency and interdependency?
    9:34 – What partners of addicted individuals should know
    11:03 – Addiction impacts the relationship not just the individual just like a disease
    14:31 – Most common addictions
    15:49 – Safe levels of drinking
    18:50 – Rituals in relationships create connection
    21:52 – Resources to help with creating rituals
    23:39 – Understanding addictions and affairs
    27:53 – Couple recovery resources
    32:16 – Advice for partners of addicted individuals
    35:15 – Responding to your partner in a way that feels good to create a stronger marriage connection
    37:35 – The smallest unit of intimacy
    38:12 – Robert’s takeaway: addiction is treatable and it is preventable
    39:32 – Liz’s takeaway: be aware of “secondhand harm”
    37:00 – Dave’s takeaway: there is hope; we’re in this together, let’s do this together.

    About Robert Navarra:

    Dr. Navarra has been a Certified Gottman Therapist since 2007 and is a Master Trainer, Consultant, and Researcher with the Gottman Institute. He has trained therapists nationally and internationally and is a popular presenter at conferences, webinars, podcasts, and in the media. He has co-authored book chapters with Drs. John and Julie Gottman on Gottman Method Couples Therapy, as well as co-authoring with Dr. John Gottman three articles on Gottman Therapy for the Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy.

    Dr. Navarra developed a relational model of addiction assessment and treatment and has been published in textbooks and in the Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy on systemic approaches in addiction recovery. Dr. Navarra was also recorded presenting a workshop that he developed, Couples and Addiction
    Recovery Training, for an online class offered by the Gottman Institute that requires therapists in the Gottman Certification track program to complete. The Gottmans also invited Dr. Navarra to present his model with them at the Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference. He is currently collaborating with the Gottmans on researching the effectiveness of a workshop for recovering couples that he designed called, Roadmap for the Journey: A Path for Couple Recovery. Additionally, he teaches addiction assessment and treatment in the Graduate Counseling Psychology Program at Santa Clara University in California

    Insights:

    Robert: If you want to reduce conflict in your marriage, then focus on the times when you’re not in conflict.

    Dave: There is hope. We’re in this together, let’s do this together.

    Liz: Be aware of “secondhand harm”.

    Invites:

       -    To reduce conflict in your marriage, or in any relationship you may be struggling with, focus on the times when you aren’t in conflict. Focusing on the good reduces conflict.
       -    If there is problematic substance use in your relationship, go to a professional to figure out to what extent it is an issue and if there really is an addiction.
       -    The smallest unit of intimacy is responding to your partner in a way that feels good. When you respond to your partner, give them your attention to show them that you care for them.

    Robert Navarra Links:
       -    Love Map Card decks
       -    https://Drrobertnavarra.com
       -    Free courses
       -    Workshops and Events
             o June 10-11 workshop
             o Oct 21 and 28 workshop

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    June 5, 2023

    7 Basic Needs for Healthy Relationships| Dr. Matt Townsend |#40

    Dave and Liz talk with Dr. Matt Townsend on the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast today about how we can foster our basic needs in our relationships. Dr. Matt shares seven principles that we can use to increase our marriage connections: Safety, Trust, Appreciation, Respect, Validation, Encouragement, and
    Dedication. By adhering to each of these principles our needs as well as our partner’s needs can be met in healthy ways.

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Matt Townsend?
    3:12 – What’s going on with marriages today?
    4:50 – S.T.A.R.V.E.D: Safety
    7:39 – T: Trust
    9:02 – A: Appreciation
    12:24 – R: Respect
    14:20 – V: Validation
    16:57 – E: Encouragement
    20:33 – D: Dedication
    23:00 – Matt’s keys for a stronger marriage connection
    26:08 – Matt’s resources
    27:40 – Matt’s takeaway: it’s not over ‘til it’s over and find the power in principles
    29:49 – Liz’s takeaway: you have to be vulnerable to be known and loved
    30:16 – Dave’s takeaway: To encourage is to truly see and understand another person

    About Matt Townsend:

    Over the last few decades Matt has dedicated his life to the study of communication and interpersonal relationships. Matt worked as a lead presenter for the industry leader, Franklin Covey, for many years. About 20 years ago he founded the Townsend Relationship Center where he has been able to share his expertise on relationships, communication, anxiety and conflict resolution with thousands of clients ranging from individuals, married couples and parents, to large corporations such as CNN, Cox Communications, and Lockheed Martin.


    Dr. Matt earned his bachelor’s and master’s degrees in Communication, a second master's degree in Human Development, and a doctoral degree (PhD) in Human Development. He is a weekly contributor to KSL TV’s show “Studio 5 with Brooke Walker”. Matt's book, Starved Stuff: The 7 Basic Needs of Healthy Relationships, is a popular pick among those searching for better relationship skills. He also has many online programs available on marriage, dealing with anxiety and parenting.


    Matt is active in his church and community and enjoys swimming, playing tennis and spending time with his wife, Mardi of 32 years and his 6 children, 4 in-law children and 5 grandchildren.

    Insights:

    Matt: Count the given good.

    Dave: Notice and be aware of the good your partner does.

    Liz: Barbie dolls must be as important as the little girl is in order to really make her feel that we are encouraging her.

    Invites:

       -    Encourage your partner’s dreams and aspirations.
       -    If simply feeding your marriage is still not “filling you up”, get help so you        don’t continue feeling starved.
       -    While you might not be able to find power in power, you can find power in principles. Find ways to foster the S.T.A.R.V.E.D. principles in your marriage.

    Matt Townsend Links:

    Starved Stuff: Feeding the 7 Basic Needs of Healthy Relationships

    https://Matttownsend.com

    10 day marriage makeover

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    May 29, 2023

    Respond To Your Partners Needs Not Behaviors | Dr. Cole Ratcliffe | #39

    On today’s podcast of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dave and Liz talk to Dr. Cole Ratcliffe about how we often get stuck in bad behaviors in our marriage relationships. Dr. Ratcliffe explains five steps that help eliminate bad behavior and provides some tips that might help increase connection in a sustainable way. Showing our partners we love them takes time and effort, but is incredibly worth it!

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Cole Ratcliffe?
    2:29 – Why are annoying and bad behaviors so common?
    4:42 – “Helping” is not always helpful
    7:10 – Why we get stuck in bad behavior
    10:48 – Marriage is the great revealer of weaknesses
    14:54 – There is no justification for bad behavior
    17:15 – Take personal responsibility for our needs
    19:25 – Recognize your partner’s needs
    20:32 – 5 Steps to help eliminate bad behavior
    25:10 – Simple things to do to improve connection
    26:40 – How to say I love you in a personal way
    28:44 – Patience is the 5th step
    29:40 – Investment in unselfishness is the key for a stronger marriage connection
    31:12 – Resources from Cole Ratcliffe
    31:59 – Cole’s takeaway: taking time to understand gives us traction for meeting our partners emotions and
    needs
    32:39 – Liz’s takeaway: turn around the meaning of “but” in our apologies
    33:11 – Dave’s takeaway: don’t react to the behavior, respond to the need

    About Cole Ratcliffe:

    Cole Ratcliffe was raised in Springville, Utah, and completed a bachelor’s degree at BYU. He obtained a masters and doctoral degree in marriage and family therapy from Kansas State University. Currently, he teaches full-time at BYU-Idaho in Marriage and Family Studies and oversees their online program. He has
    taught numerous courses in his career, such as human development, marriage, marriage prep, marriage skills, parenting, and relationship education. Dr. Ratcliffe maintains a small private clinical practice where he conducts individual, marriage, and family therapy, including discernment counseling. He has been married for 16 years to his wife Jenna and together they have 5 (almost 6) children. In his spare time, he enjoys spending time with his family, hiking, hunting, playing sports, and watching college football.

    Insights:

    Cole: Take personal responsibility for having our needs met.

    Dave: Don’t react to the behavior. See the unmet needs.

    Liz: We need to turn around the meaning of “but” in our apologies.

    Invites:

    1. Focus on the things you can control.
    2. Respond to the need underneath the behavior.
    3. Identify the things you need to stop doing. Apologize with the proper use of the word “but”.
    4. Find a few small and simple things to increase connection that are sustainable.
    5. Be patient with yourself and with others.

    Cole Ratcliffe Links:

    - https://www.Byuido.org

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    May 15, 2023

    Brain Habits for Hacking Happiness | Dr. Alex Korb | #37

    On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz have a great conversation with Dr. Alex Korb talking about the little things we can do to create a stronger marriage connection. Happiness hacks start with us which then can translate into strengthening our relationships through understanding our own and other’s perceptions.

    Timestamps

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Alex Korb?
    2:25 – What makes the Upward Spiral unique?
    7:45 – The healthy “we” starts with the healthy “me”
    9:10 – Our brains are wired to notice the negative and ignore consistency
    12:48 – Practicing gratitude; direct your attention to what you can acknowledge is good
    14:47 – Understanding depression and anxiety
    15:57 – Acknowledge that you have a perspective
    18:09 – Depression and anxiety are common; there is nothing broken or wrong with your brain
    20:53 – Why do we get stuck in bad habits so easily?
    24:29 – Focus on the little small tweaks for your body that create an upward spiral
    30:28 – Gratitude is something you can do on your own to improve your relationships
    34:16 – Breaking negative patterns activates reward circuits
    37:12 – Expressing gratitude does not have an expiration date
    39:22 – When to reach out to a medical professional
    42:09 – Any step is better than being stuck
    43:21 – Everyone’s perspectives are different
    46:20 – Alex’s takeaway: when things are feeling really bad, realize that things aren’t as bad as they seem
    48:33 – Liz’s takeaway: why the why
    48:53 – Dave’s takeaway: Doing small things breaks up relationship ruts

    About Alex Korb

    Dr. Alex Korb is a neuroscientist, coach, and bestselling author of The Upward Spiral. He is the founder of The Upward Spiral Method where he helps smart, passionate professionals conquer unnecessary overthinking, stress, and self-doubt to unleash the brain's potential for passion, productivity, and purpose. Dr. Korb has a wealth of experience in yoga and mindfulness, physical fitness, and even stand-up comedy.

    Insights

    Alex: All we need to do is one small step. It doesn’t have to fix everything, it just has to be better than the default of the downward spiral your brain wants to go in.

    Dave: A little small win can help create an upward spiral for our relationships.

    Liz: Understanding why something is good for me rather than being told what to do gets my attention

    Invites:

       •    To get out of a mental rut, take a little step to break out of your brain’s default of negative habits. Try going for a walk, stepping outside in the sun, or even standing up for a few seconds.
       •    Expressing gratitude and kindness is something in your control. Write down a few things you may take for granted but are grateful for nonetheless. Doing so tells your brain to focus more on the good rather on the negative.
       •    You can’t always control your feelings, but you can control your actions. Take action by saying thank you to someone that influenced you in some way, even if it was a few days, weeks, or years ago. Gratitude does not have an expiration date. In fact, it tends to have even greater weight and mean more to the receiver over time.

    Alex Korb Links

    https://www.facebook.com/alexkorb

    https://www.instagram.com/alexkorbphd/

    https://alexkorbphd.com/

    https://alexkorbphd.click/guide

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See our website for privacy information.

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    May 8, 2023

    Taking Your Marriage From Good to Great | Dr. Terri Orbuch | #36

    Today Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz sit down with Dr. Terri Orbuch who is also known as the love doctor and discuss taking your marriage from good to great. From communication to frustration to positivity and managing money, Terri breaks things down into practical principles that anyone can apply.

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Terri Orbuch?
    2:49 – Terri’s research
    4:32 – 46% of married couples divorce
    5:15 – The positive and optimistic statistic of 71% of divorced couples
    7:52 – Affirmations in marriage
    9:54 – The biggest reason relationships don’t work is frustration
    11:05 – Conflict, disagreements and differences are inevitable
    12:34 – We need to make sure we have realistic expectations
    14:38 – What is more important to husbands than wives?
    16:03 – We need to feel like we are part of a team
    18:44 – The 10-minute rule that partners need to practice
    21:43 – Excitement and passion declining is inevitable in all relationships
    23:15 – Do something new and novel with your partner
    25:26 – Three strategies to increase passion and excitement in your relationship
    26:37 – It is ok to take a break when you are irritated
    28:37 – Keep each issue or specific annoyance separate
    30:31 – The number one source of tension or conflict among couples is money
    33:00 – Happy couples focus on what’s going well, and focus on the positive
    35:21 – Resources
    37:22 – Takeaways

    About Terri Orbuch:

    Dr. Terri Orbuch is a world-renowned relationship expert, author, speaker, therapist,
    distinguished professor at Oakland University, research scientist at University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research and media personality whose practical science based advice had helped 1000’s of people find and create the loving relationships they deserve. She is also the director of a landmark study funded by the National Institutes of Health, where she has been following the same couples for over three decades.

    Insights:

    Terri: It is all about the little things, waking up and giving affirmations or actions of affirmations. Spending 10 minutes every single day taking about something other than those four topics.

    Dave: The little affirmations and things are powerful.

    Liz: Take one issue at a time, your brain gets overloaded and overwhelmed if you try to do too much at once.

    Invites:

       -    Take on one issue at a time within your relationship
       -    It’s all in the little things, spread daily affirmations to your partner
       -    Practice the 10-minute rule with your partner each day

    Terri Orbuch Links:

    https://drterrithelovedoctor.com

    https://www.facebook.com/DrTerriLoveDr/

    https://twitter.com/drterrilovedr?lang=en

    https://www.instagram.com/terriorbuch/?hl=en

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See our website for privacy information.

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    May 1, 2023

    Overcoming Sexual Struggles in Marriage | Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife | #35

    On today’s episode, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz talk with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife about
    healthy sexuality and why many struggle in this area. She also discusses how to develop the capacity for deeper emotional and sexual intimacy. She shares the number one goal she has for people who visit with her and her practice.

    Timestamps:

    0:00 – Introduction: Who is Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
    2:53 – Where do you begin in your sexuality coaching with clients?
    3:18 – Time, sex, and money are the top three issues for newlywed couples
    6:10 – Marriage is a divine institution
    7:07 – Top insights from studies and dissertation
    9:40 – The number one goal is increasing people’s ability to have joy
    11:49 – No other relationship matters like the one right in front of me
    13:30 – Marriage struggles are not a problem, but a process
    14:30 – The perfect storm
    16:19 – Controlling in the marriage
    18:28 – What can I do to help?
    19:16 – There is nothing strange with differences in couples
    20:50 – Finding more space and respect
    21:35 – We love strength in people
    22:43 – Perfectionism is a terror that humanity will expose us as unlovable
    25:03 – Superwoman complex
    26:57 – Recognize when you are stressed or anxious
    28:53 – We don’t get to choose if we experience anxiety
    31:11 – Being willing to face truth through the looking glass of marriage
    32:33 – Where to go for more information from Jennifer
    33:26 – Takeaways

    About Dr. Finlayson-Fife:
    Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is an LDS relationship and sexuality coach with a Ph.D. in
    Counseling Psychology. Her teaching and coaching focus on helping LDS individuals
    and couples achieve greater satisfaction and passion in their emotional and sexual
    relationships. In addition to her private practice, Dr. Finlayson-Fife has created five empowering and highly reviewed online courses. Each course was designed to give LDS individuals and couples the tools requisite to creating healthier lives and stronger intimate relationships. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also offers many workshops and retreats where she teaches these life-changing principles in person. Dr. Finlayson-Fife is a frequent guest on LDS-themed podcasts about sexuality, relationships, mental health, and faith. She is also the creator and host of Room for Two, a popular sex and intimacy coaching podcast.

    Insights:

    Dave: Time, sex, and money are the top three issues for newlywed couples. Relationship
    happiness is often at stake with all of this.

    Liz: If I can’t say no, then I am not free to say yes.

    Dr. Finlayson-Fife: All unnecessary suffering is a part of avoiding necessary suffering. Suffering is a part of life. Decide to step into purposeful discomfort, purposeful suffering, to become stronger.

    Invites:

       •    Make sure you can take a step back when you are following a negative pattern, ask
    yourself, what role you have in the pattern? How are you feeding it?
       •    In the chaos, uncertainty, and anxiety of life, push for what is true. Trust the process and the honesty in your marriage, it will show you what you need to know to be stronger.
       •    None of us chooses whether we experience anxiety, we only get to choose whether its productive or unproductive.

    Dr. Finlayson-Fife Links:
    https://www.finlayson-fife.com

    https://www.instagram.com/finlaysonfife/?hl=en

    https://www.facebook.com/finlaysonfife/

    https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.Finlayson-Fife

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    Strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
    TikTok: @strongermarriagelife


    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

     

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

    See our website for privacy information.